Neuron Bursts

A Fresh Start!

2008-08-24T14:05:00.000-07:00

After a few infrequent posts over the course of past three years I have decided that I need a fresh start. So the thought came to my mind that this fresh start should have some kind of freshness... what should that be?

First Thought : Create a new Blog altogether
(Thinking) Forget it!!!

Second Option : New Post with just 'Fresh Start' written in subject
(Thinking) Too less!! Doesn't look fresh enough :S

Third Option : New Post with Pamela's pic
(Thinking) What the Fack! stay focused... stay focused...

After wasting much time over other totally useless ideas decided that lemme just jolt down a few things that have changed. So here I go...

Name: Aditya Jaiswal-- changed to -- p08adityaj
Location: Pune -- changed to -- Indore
Job status: Under paid employment -- changed to -- unemployed
Organization: Mr. Murthy's company -- changed to -- I I M Indore
Hobby: Sleeping -- changed to -- Cribbing about not getting enough sleep
Jargon Used: spring, MVC, hibernate etc. -- changed to - B2B, bottom line, strategy etc.
Waistline : 32 -- changed to -- 34 (Shit!!)

That's it... this looks fresh enough :)
Now even though this would mean taking out some time from those endless hours wasted on orkut and chat, I promises to increase (or rather start..) the frequency of posts here.

And just because it's my blog and therefore no body can stop me from posting whatever I want, here's my "freshly" clicked pic to end this post :)

End of Road...

2008-03-21T13:31:00.000-07:00

Ever traveled on that Sunday afternoon on the highway and suddenly saw that small lake. Took the next left turn. Tried to find your way to the lake side with that small locked room..... So Beautiful!!! Taaaaa...aaaaa..kaadaak.... but now what. What was I really looking for, the lake or the whole fun and pains of reaching there. What do I do now? Is the afternoon over? Damn it.... Doesn't mean one's not happy. Infact I really loved the moment. But it also means the end of Road.....

2 O'Clock

2008-01-04T12:32:00.000-08:00

2 A.M. of Saturday after a tiring Friday. I am supposed to be asleep. But this writing itself is a testimony of the fact that I am not. Why am I not sleep, because I am writing this… so the real question is why am I writing this? I just pondered over this for a few seconds trying to comprehend the answer to the question, still no answers. The question now is, “how am I supposed to know the answer to this question?” Am I in my behaviour exhibiting some cosmic law of confused entity or is this moment the random sample that defies the empirical laws, a black swan, maybe.

Greatest of your Days...

2006-04-10T02:37:00.000-07:00

The moment of glory, the moment of prime,
The moment of happiness, the moment of divine,
The moment of love, the moment of care,
The moment of victory and those sweet despairs,
The moment of virtue, the moment of pride,
The moment of passion and careless strides,
The moment of sanity, that moment so insane,
That moment so whole, and the one which never came.

The wheels have started turning, pieces are getting in place,
Those moments approaching time for I can see the purple haze,
So say you’re little prayers, get your soul ready for that blaze,
Cause today is destined to be, the greatest of your days.

A note of Appreciation

2005-12-30T04:28:00.000-08:00

I had just arrived at the Mumbai station, standing among so many people and still feeling so much alone. A strange uncertainty of the future, yet so much hope. Relieved of finally being able to make it here despite of so many things I had messed up during the past four years and resolved to put things straight this time. So much depressed for leaving behind all that was dear and yet excited to meet new people and find new lands. So satisfied for all that I had become and still resolved to become what I had once thought I would.

That was 1st January 2005 and those were strange times. Looking back at it now I cannot help wonder that it was one of the most dramatic New Year I ever had. Arriving at the city of Hopes for my Internship, without any of those people I had become so accustomed to. A strange chill running through the spine every time the thought came to my mind, now there was no going back, no college, no hostel. Times required me to be brave and so did I put up my best, with belief that future is always to look forward and things are destined to improve, that people are inherently good and its my time to know as many as I could.

Changing cities every 4 months and meeting so many people on my way, the year proved out to be an enriching and exciting journey like none other. But the things that stand out among all rest are those few people, those few gems who distinguished themselves from the rest. Who made me stop and take notice, wanting to know them better and at the end determined to make those friendships everlasting. Who had the power to enthrall and inspire people by their beauty, honesty, love, intelligence and sheer Smiles!!! It was also the time when the absence of some people made me realize how much do I love them and how much more do they love me. The monotony of days made me realize how much I cherish every moment of those past four years. I learnt how to be with people even when you are thousand miles apart and that every time I think of what all I have achieved all this time, those faces and those days flashed before my eyes. And so it seems today that those were the best that could have happened to me.

Sitting here with just couple of days to mark this year’s end, it was time for me to reflect on all that happened this year and all that I learned from it. And so this is one small note of gratitude that I managed to cumulate for all those great people I do know. With hopes that I’ll always have the pleasure of knowing them, no matter what we go through. And at the end to just let them know that they all have been my “Heroes”!!!

May the coming New Year brings all the good things and happiness to you and you move a step closer to become what you set out to be.

The Divine Hand

2005-12-29T03:56:00.000-08:00

Thou smallest grain of sand, the strength of mountains might,
Thou slithering breeze of air, hovering endless strides,
Thou placid stream of water, shattering all that stands thy way,
Thou sparkling glow of fire, bringing all that starts to an end,

Thou one they call men, for whom all shall exist,
Thou beauty of creation, thou natures final triumph,
It’s thy collective soul, who stands witness to this hour,
When with consent of my creator, I shall name thee GOD.

Confessions of an Object in JAVA Class

2005-12-22T04:12:00.000-08:00

What’s an object? What is objectivity? Does it have anything to do with objectivism…? But then even if it has, do I have an objection? Abjectivity sounds similar to objectivity, but it’s certainly not abjection. Java is a funny language with people throwing objects at each other, or may be it’s just an alter-ego of our own world. There are abstractions, classes, parents and child, even generations of family existing simultaneously. But how is that possible, how can fifteen generations of a family exist at any single instance of time. Maybe it’s an abstraction of time itself, or a generic representation of time as in generic classes. God only knows the truth, but I am sure it is not our God, there must be even a God in Java, and in that case what are the properties and methods of this God class. I do believe that all the persons and employees and students existing in Java would also be desperately searching for there God class to find the reason for there existence. And may be someday somebody would write methods for me also, so that I can talk to these mysterious entities of Java to find the reason for my existence in this class.

The Midnight Hunt ( Part-I )

2005-12-08T03:38:00.000-08:00

The bus stopped in front of the NICM (National Institute of Co-operative Management) campus. Everybody seemed a bit in hurry to get off the bus, the boys were busy pushing others next to them in almost every direction with occasional comments and laughers that remained hardly within the boundaries of decency considering that it was not there hostel rooms, where even the most preposterous of comments fails to cause stir among the general charming mood of people. Everybody looked a bit thrilled and excited. The source of all which seemed to be some talks about something crazy being planned for tonight. Most of the people didn’t know for sure but everybody knew that something is going to happen in the Jungle.

This story is of a time when I was still a fresher man in the fresher college of ours. Two hundred and forty Six young people with unfathomable freedom for the first time in their life, ready to do anything and everything ever imagined. With a complete absence of seniors and any kind of authority when in hostels, the things were getting crazier as the days or rather nights passed. The ever resonating sounds of great debates, loud talks and demonic laughter ruled the thick air during the night. Come midnight and the daredevil sports gods of hostel assembled in the middle grounds surrounded by long running balcony of three floors and howls of people waiting for the madness to start. But maybe I would leave this “Madness La Grand” for some other time and for now get back to that day before hunt and introduce you to this Jungle of ours.

Our college is situated on the outskirts of this very young and lush green city, named Gandhinagar. Infact such is the nature of this greenery that one would hardly find anything of interest other than the beautiful tress and herds of sheep in about a mile radius from the college. And if you ask about the most interesting times we had as the first batch of our Alma Mater, the undisputed answer would be our first year at NICM hostels. It’s the place marked by some of the most memorable and dottiest moments we had in our lives. But it so happens that this NICM campus with our hostel inside it is a bit far from our college. The NICM stands right on the highway whereas the college is situated on the road parallel to it and separated by two access roads equally distanced at around half a mile from NICM and again around one mile in length. So to reach the college campus by road one has to travel a perfect half square of distance around 2 miles from hostels. Now just imagine the situation of a person getting up at around 8 O’clock to find out that despite his most fanatic efforts which could have put his name in Guiness Book of records for getting all geared up in shortest possible time, he could not make it to the 8:30 lecture cause the bus which was supposed to take him there has already left and with little athletic skills it doesn’t seem within his capabilities to cover that distance in anyway, within such a short time. But as some wise men have said “Necessity is the Mother of all Invention” ( and as Engineers we tend to be exceptionally skilled in that), and so some of the wise men among us found out a shortcut way to college keeping in mind such desperate times which on later mathematical scrutiny proved out to be the shortest path possible.

This shortcut is a narrow cattle track starting right from the highway along the right boundary walls of NICM campus and then all the way to the parallel road and right infront of the entrance of our college campus. The whole one square mile area surrounded by four mile-long roads was mostly covered by plantation and some wild vegetation with NICM and the newly developing IT park occupying small plots along the highway edge of the block. With straight long plantation trees and ground completely covered with dead leaves it had a haunting look during sunsets with long shadows of trees convolving with each other to form strange patters of light and shadow on the ground, come night and the crackling sound of dead leaves below your feet gives you the impression of being followed by someone. Quite often the passer-bys walking through the plantations rather then the cattle-track came across strange foot-tracks of unknown species, and if lucky one could even spot a couple of Nilgayes, Peacocks and camels other than the herds of cow, buffalo and sheep. So as you see, the Jungle happened to have a vibrant ecosystem with a variety of native as well as visiting species among which the latest and smartest addition were the enthusiastic and inquisitive homo-sapiens of DA-IICT. Things being so interesting how could the imaginations of so many smart people afford to miss the opportunity? Everyday somebody had some or the other story to tell, mostly made-up and few others results of superlative imaginations of people crossing the Jungle during night, griped with fear of unknown, fueled by ridicule stories of others meant to put them in exactly the same situation !!!

The effect of all this small and interesting stories that kept popping up during our year long stay there was that they created a mix of excitement and enthusiasm among the people, which reached its pinnacle during that night of “The Midnight Hunt”, the incidents of which I intend to describe here.

The Dream...

2005-12-01T04:20:00.000-08:00

I dream of a world…
Where I create water and you create fire,
Where I create all diamonds and you all sapphire,
Where I am man’s wildest passion and you his eternal desire,
Where I am the conclusive void and genesis is your heir.

This all would seem most ideal to even the most Idealists,
For we taking the glory for which God aspires,
But can we be so insouciant when the most sanctified is put to pyre,
For least we can give this world,
The purest drop of water, the brightest spark of fire.

The Opening Act...

2005-11-30T04:05:00.000-08:00

Beginning like the billions others… In form so much like the millions alive… And yet so unique in what I am… What I am? An inquisitive mind inside the head of what I would like to just refer as “my host”. Who is he and what is he…..? Just a host. He came into being along with me, and since then we have nurtured a strong symbiotic relationship, where he provides me with all precious information he gains through what he calls his senses and in return I provide him the understanding of what he sense. So you see, he is not that bright, mostly having some surreal ideas with which he somehow manages to make his way in this world, always dependent on me for getting know how of what’s happening around and making sense of everything. Why do I do this for him…? Foremost reason would be “I simply cannot imagine myself without him”, from the moment my first bursts started I have felt his presence, always providing him with understanding of things that happen to him. I agree that we had some problems in our understanding of each other in the initial years of our life during which he used to be emotively dependent on others for his needs. But for better or worse, off late we have developed a kind of natural understanding and communication between us being so effortless in its nature that now he hardly acknowledges a separate presence of mine. But then I am really glad, for it save me from answering a lot of things about which I am sure about his inadequacy to understand. For despite being the genius I am, I find a lot of things contained in the bursts of my neurons to be quite incomprehensive in terms of what this natural language between us can convey. All this apart, and despite the fact that I am capable of such things, my whole ontogeny and conception of new ideas depends on what all he conveys to me through his senses which in turn makes my services to him more valuable and consequential.

So who is writing this blog? Obviously it’s my blog so it should be me, but with a little help from my host. Why I am doing this? … I guess its time I declare my presence upon the world and try to talk to all those others like me sitting quietly in the heads of their hosts, reading through these lines in the stillness of their solitude, never wanting to let there presence felt. I accept that most of us are quite unaware of the ways of this world and rarely any of us had really sensed the beauties that we hear about through our hosts, but we have much contained in the burst of our neurons that even we haven’t explored and which might be beyond anything we have ever known. So it’s my attempt to acknowledge my understanding of the world as I perceive it, and at the same time a step towards my discovery of self.